Skip to content
All report editions

THE SKINNY ED REPORT · ARCHIVED EDITION

August 16, 2026

The Department of War's new response to the alleged Colorado triangle videos leads today's board, followed by a fresh tour through Texas records and four clearly marked public archives and analysis resources worth revisiting.

Read the original edition briefing

Good morning, investigators. The most important change on today's board is procedural but real: the Department of War says it is now looking for the two alleged Colorado triangle videos and will publish what it finds through PURSUE. That confirms an official review of a specific claim—not the videos, their contents, or the reported object's identity—so the next meaningful milestone is an actual record. Fresh reporting from Texas shows why that distinction matters: one release can contain a nuclear-site lockdown, decades-old unexplained lights, an identified hoax, and testimony that remains unresolved. The research shelf gives us four places to work rather than merely wonder: Canada's 9,500-document federal collection, NUFORC's living civilian report bank, AARO's case-resolution library, and Australia's primary record of a 1960 weapons-range investigation. Today is less about choosing a theory than following each claim to the document, database, or analysis that can sharpen it. I have opened all the tabs and, in accordance with Mission Control protocol, forgotten which one is making noise.

Illustration of Skinny Ed at his news desk

ED’S HIGH THOUGHT · FICTIONAL HUMOR

Whoa, dude… a mouse cursor is a flat triangle because it has to point at things on a two-dimensional screen. So if a higher-dimensional civilization wanted to operate our three-dimensional universe, its cursor would look like a giant flying triangle. That object over Colorado may not have been a ship—it may have been somebody trying to click the Air Force. The two videos were on consecutive nights because the first click selected the base and the second opened Properties. If it starts dragging the Rocky Mountains toward the Recycle Bin, do not let the government hit ‘Empty.’

Published by Aliens in the Clouds. These AI-assisted summaries link to their sources and distinguish reported claims from established findings. Skinny Ed is a fictional mascot; High Thoughts are comedy. Send a correction with its source.